Saturday, July 27, 2019

Catching Up

I have been absent from my blog for almost a year now. My life has changed in unmeasurable ways in that time. It started off in a good way. In September of last year, my husband and I went on the trip that had been on our bucket list for a long time. We went on a Viking River Cruise; it was a wonderful trip.



When we got home from the trip, Nate wasn’t feeling well. We soon found out (in October) that Nate had a tumor in his chest the size of a small football—5” X 7”. He was diagnosed with Stage 4 lymphoma and quickly started in-hospital chemo. We have been dealing with his cancer since that time. If you have been through something like this, you know that it consumes your life. In the spring, we found out his cancer had spread to his central nervous system, and he entered hospice in June. Nate died on June 15. I’m, now, trying to adjust to life without him. It is hard.

I haven’t done much in the creative arena since the diagnosis. I have tried, but I have a lot of trouble concentrating on ANYTHING for any length of time. I’m hoping to get back to the creative side of my life and hope that I’ll soon have some things to share with you all.

10 comments:

Denny1600 said...

So sorry for this tough time for you. Please be gentle with yourself. Do the things you need to do. Do the things you want to do. When you're ready, start doing some art stuff like sketching for fun and without judgment. Then move into whatever creative arena you might like. Maybe take a class just for the structure and companionship. I'm so glad that you had a lovely trip with your husband for a pleasant memory. Please take care of yourself.

Cedar Ridge Studio said...

So sorry.
I know the pain of losing someone to cancer. It took me 2 plus years to learn to feel creative again.
Another quilter told me she saw joy in my quilts. She jolted me out of my slump.
I found my muse again.
Be around your tribe of artist friends.
So glad you had that last special time together ❤.

Take lots of time for you.Hugs.
If you ever want a change of scenery you can always come visit me.

Sara Buchwald said...

Have missed your blog, Beth. I'm a cancer survivor so relate to how it consumes your life. I think it's more devastating to walk that path with someone you love than to face it in your own body. There will always be a hole in your heart and no one can tell you how to grieve or how to move forward. It's your own personal journey which you will take in your own time. So good to have the memories of those great trips. Peace.

Beth said...

I'm so sorry to hear the news of your loss. Loss is such an inadequate work. More like a blown open hole in your heart. Time just takes time. I like the comments above and I think sticking with friends and friends who are creative will help. I too am so pleased you had that amazing trip together. Sending love and positive energy to you.

Doris Goins said...

Don't rush yourself. In time your creative talents will come forward. A loss such as this takes a long time for the healing to be complete. Right now it is important that you just put one foot in front of the other and just keep moving. Do whatever feels right in the moment and don't think about the future.

Robbie said...

I am SO sorry, Beth!!! It is difficult to lose your best friend, partner.....but you have some great memories. Creative time will come...just allow yourself this time to grieve, chill, sit! It's your time to take care of yourself now. Look forward to future posts even if it's just to say "I'm still here..."

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Take care Beth. Your muse will return in its own good time. It is good that you had that special trip with Nate. Love and Peace.

Beth@IHaveANotion.com said...

Beth (hugs) from Beth! Don't push the creativity, it will come in its own time. Do small things... nothing big. It is a difficult path to get back to personal JOY when we are feeling alone and guilty about moving on. The best way to start is by cleaning up/organizing where you left off. Set aside anything that does not bring immediate joy or anticipation. Don't be surprised if your concentration is flighty.

Gary L Wittmann said...

Beth, you are in my prayers each and every day. Love to sit down and talk sometime.
Be positive for yourself. Remember the good times.

susan said...

Take your time. You will get creative again, but I would be surprised if it doesn't take several months. It was 7 months before I even looked at fabric, and 2-3 more before I sewed a stitch. This is a very life-invasive blow. I think about you all the time, and pray for you still, for peace and comfort. I'm so glad you had that trip together before the medical report. dezertsuz@gmail